A lot of people ask me what I mean when I say I “hold space”. I think a lot of doulas get asked this question. So what does it actually mean? Here’s my two cents on it:
As I full-spectrum birth-keeper, I know the art of holding space well… I sit quietly. I listen deeply – not only to my clients but to the spaces in between… The sound of the room. The sound of the birth or the death. The feelings under the words spoken. The whispers in my ears. The quality of goosebumps on my arms or the tears down my cheek. I listen to what needs to move, what needs to be heard, what needs to be held, what needs to be left alone … The holding of the space is just that: holding a container for my clients and my friends and my family to be exactly themselves, exactly who they are in that moment. No fixing or changing or doing. Just being. With all the grief, all the fear, all the joy that the space contains – I hold it with my people. And it is healing.
Kinda like the sky holds the moon … It is effortless. Filled with gravity and weightlessness all at the same time. It creates waves. It moves our womb’s, our cycles, our emotions. They are interconnected, holding space with eachother for eternity.
Holding space is S P A C I O U S. It is all around us. Cultivate your craft. Show up. Listen. Get curious. BE, instead of DO. Ask questions. Challenge the status quo. Don’t fix or change, just show up in what IS. Let yourself be uncomforta ble. We don’t have to get it “right”. We need presence. We need to be doing this for one another right now. The impact is real.